Are you restless like me?

Why are there so many fucking references to suicide EVERYWHERE? Movies, books, music. I swear I come across at least 3 or 4 things a week that remind me that Salim killed himself. A couple weeks ago this song was on a cd my sister burned that I used to love but this time it made me start crying. In eighth grade we would listen to it all the time and sing it, we thought it was hilarious and great. But I don't think I can ever listen to it again. It's called "5000 Ways to Die" by Nerf Herder and it's a satire about ways to kill yourself and what happens afterward. I don't condemn the people who wrote it or people who listen to it, but I know I can't hear it without crying now.

But I think being reminded of it is kind of a good thing, this way I won't forget him. And I won't forget that I need to be nice to everyone and do my best to not hurt anyone.

I realized that I can honestly say that I have never thought about killing myself. I've thought about leaving, like moving in with a relative or something. Killing myself just never came up as an option to relieve the sadness and stress that I'm prone to feeling. I guess I just have always had the fact that things change and something has to give sometime in the back of my mind. I don't think of anything as permanent, except for death.

I just finished Death of a Salesman, which of course has a character commit suicide at the end. That's what brought this up.